Principles that work for every challenge


I use several unique basic tenets in dealing with children, which are described throughout my books as the basic "principles for parenting."

I teach parents how to apply these principles, so that they are enabled to incorporate them into their daily lives with their children.

These are universal principles that apply to many parenting situations.

Once you understand basic developmental stages for children, you can gear the principles for any particular age. Knowing these principles and making them work for you will save you a great deal of frustration and agony in dealing with parenting issues.

One such principle that I use is:

BLOCK NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR BEFORE IT HAPPENS.

Take, for instance, the negative behavior of a child hitting you or another person. You have to TEACH him not to hit. Never allow him to strike you, even at a very young age.

For example, the first time a toddler ever attempts to hit his Mommy: As soon as you see it coming, interfere with the negative behavior; take his little hand, and show him what TO do with his hand, before he has the opportunity to hit you.
Say, "You LOVE your Mommy. Pat your Mommy. Stroke Mommy gently," as you guide his hand gently to the correct physical actions and words.

Usually, it will take only three or four times for this to become a positively reinforced behavior. This goes a long way toward teaching your child positive behavior, because he does not even experience the negative behavior in the first place. Therefore, he does not reinforce the negative behavior, and it does not become his pattern.